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We are three adults living in a polyamorous triad family. The content here is intended for an adult audience. If you are not an adult, please leave now.


The Plan

When last we left you here we were in rest, recover, and decide how to go forward mode. That we have decided. The Plan is as follows, at least for now. Each week Monday through Friday evening I will abstain from alcohol. I may still consume the sugar free peppermint schnapps concoction that helps me when I have serious nausea (an on-going problem for those of us who have gastric bypass surgery altered physiology.) If I abstain as laid out I may drink moderately Friday, Saturday, and Sunday evenings including wine with dinner and moderate drinking after dinner. If I fail to observe the abstinence period then I lose the privilege of moderate drinking the following weekend. There may be loosening of these restrictions at holidays and special occasions.

Each day I abstain will save us about $10.00 in expense in cost for wine and liquor. We will deposit that $10.00 in my IRA guaranteed 3% interest accumulation account to accumulate funds for us to use at Christmas.

Today is my first day of abstinence. I am not at all in a good place about this. At this point this feels like just another huge loss in the aftermath of a year of terrible losses. I hope I get through this one.


Who is neither confident or pursuing a dream at this point.


  1. I hope it works for you.
    I went to rehab and then to AA for a few months.
    Then did it on my own.
    Last drink was April 10, 1992.
    It's worth it.

  2. Anonymous10:58 AM

    Please note this may sound harsh even though said with utmost respect.

    You are pursuing a dream at this point if you think about it for a minute.

    Some of your losses have been for the better and you know it sir.

    As you probably know, finding distractions to your current obsession (alcohol) is probably a good thing. You have the integrity to get through this if you choose to. Be the person that you can be instead of the person that is wallowing in self pity.


  3. As you know.. I am thinking of you and holding you close.

    You CAN do this !


  4. im holding you all in my thoughts- good luck to you...i know you can do it Sir, for all of you.

  5. wandering traveler1:17 PM

    sending my best for your success.
    and gently encouraging that you explore outside community & support towards your stated goal. some addiction issues are not responsive to discipline alone, requiring self-inquiry, understanding and a solid structure outside of one's known comfort zone to be properly addressed.

  6. Anonymous4:30 PM

    Recovering from any addiction is very challenging. It is helpful to spend time in the company of those who understand what you are going through, have experienced some measure of success, and who can guide you down the path with both love and honest feedback.

    It sounds like you don't want to commit to quitting altogher and hope to moderate your consumption. I can understand that but have personally never seen anyone accomplish it. However, I wouldn't let your desire to drink in moderation keep you away from a support group. You will find love, understanding, and support there regardless of where you are in the process.

    Best of luck Tom.

  7. Aw Tom, hope it's ok to de-lurk and offer you hugs.

    You've come out and detailed your problem infront of people here, owned up to your failings and admited your faults. I believe that's the hardest bit :)

    masses of luck xx

  8. weirdgirl6:01 AM

    i'm with Bum Tickler.

    all the best.


  9. Oh how I hope that this works for you.

    Like anonymous above, I have not seen your type of plan work. However, I don't know where to look to find those individuals, either.

    A gentle word of caution about your peppermint schnapps solution: It is possible that any form of alcohol can trigger cravings for more. In my early sobriety, even something like NyQuil would trigger me for days, so I learned to use non-alcoholic solutions (no pun intended).

    The benefits for me of sobriety have far outweighed the benefits of a glass of wine with dinner or an after dinner drink.

    You all remain in my thoughts and prayers as you go through this difficult time together.

    With Love,

  10. Good luck! I know you can do it!



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