I've settled down emotionally since my start of abstinence this morning when I posted our plan. I am doing just fine, and following the plan with relatively little difficulty, and beginning to actually feel excited to think "I can do this." Perhaps we've turned a page here.
I haven't felt very proud of my self the last week. Having your well whipped ass depicted on the Internet (kind of the cyber version of having to stand in the corner with your pants down after a punishment spanking) is, to say the least, not necessarily a big self-concept enhancer, even if it is way effective as an additional ratcheting up of the effectiveness of a punishment.
I want to say though how tremendously proud I am and grateful to all of those who have commented here and supported us as we have come through this rather difficult passage. You have, everyone of you, been thoughtful, articulate, respectful (even those who felt a need to be confrontive did that respectfully), and very caring. I have been pretty self-absorbed and pretty emotional over the last week and haven't responded individually to all of you who have commented here and/or sent private email. I am so proud of the way The Heron Clan readership community has engaged with us during this time, and I am deeply impressed at how skillfully and supportively this circle of readers has contributed to help us reach a point that feels now like we may be on the road to successfully accomplishing significant change from where we were........where I was,,,,,,,,,when this began.
Of course, too, it cannot go without saying how proud of and grateful I am to swan and t for putting up with me, pushing firmly to see that this vision of way moderated drinking in the interest of protecting my health came to fruition, supporting me, loving me even when I wasn't very lovable, and following through to blister my ass when that was called for (boy did swan give me the most severe spanking/whipping I've ever had...........where did she learn to be such a corporal disciplinarian:)
All of you have propelled me forward to the point where I now feel motivated to implement what I feel is a very positive plan from the bottom of my heart and from the bottom of my bottom:)
Thank you all,
Go confidently in the direction of your dreams. Live the life you've imagined.