Less Than Tickled Camper

Yanno....I am the one who just sorta cruises along. A few years ago I almost died. And it puts alot of things into perspective. Cuts the chaff from the wheat. Makes you sit back and decide what is worth your time and breath and what can just go "bye bye".

I don't blog much. I started around the BDSM circles online many years ago. Back on Prodigy. I used to spend hours online discussing the "life" and how deep and meaningful everything was because of BDSM. ::insert deep dramatic sigh here:: And how simply no one else could possibly understand unless they lived the life 24/7. I have grown up. 24/7 is no picnic. It is work. And anyone who thinks they can walk into my life and take it on and think it will be a piece of cake is nuts.

Poly is hard. It is work. More love make more love, sure. But it is also more work. Some people seem to think that because Tom has Swan and me, his life is easier. That all of our lives are easier. Well, folks, that ain't so. We have to work at it. We have to schedule it. We have to negotiate it. And sometimes we don't all get what we want. There are days that I want more. There are times when I want to scream that it isn't fair to share. But that is not because of Swan. It is because of Tom's job. You see he is a very dedicated professional who has thousands of people depending on him to keep them safe & alive. Without Tom's advocacy these people would be homeless, destitute, or probably dead. He has saved lives. And he works his ass off. And Swan and I work around that schedule to have our family time. We do what is necessary to give him the down-time he needs to recharge and go battle the dragons that want to hurt his people. He works a regular week like most folks... AND ...he has evening meetings, like some folks... AND ...he works alot of Saturdays ...like a few folks. And when people think that they deserve more of his time than I know he is able to give without completely exhausting himself I get a little ticked. Well.....make that ALOT ticked.

And I just have to say... that just because ya don't get 1 on 1 time and lots of conversation, well too bad, so sad ...if you had removed the rose colored glasses and not spoon fed Tom a dish of crap in the first place... you would have realized that this is the Real World. We could all end up being "very nice friends" ....instead of this.

"I'm actually hoping there will be some sense of relief from at least T and S." I gotta tell ya that line sucks big time. Not our faults. Don't go there. Not fair. You asked for this.

You blindsided him. You hurt him. We will pickup the pieces of the pain you have caused. In your need to: "But it really is a locked triad. I knew that from the beginning, but I wanted to see how things might progress." "I never played you or toyed with your affections. Everything has been very real." I believe this is where I would insert "real bulls**t". Locked triad. We were willing to be open. We were happily welcoming you into our home. But you "wanted to see how things might progress"? Yet you say you "never played or toyed with" Tom's affections??? Errrr....ahhhh.....duh!!!! Plain and simple you came, you played, you didn't get the brass ring, and you took your toys and went home.

The reason many Triads never expand is people like you. People who try to insert themselves into a group and never really take the time to learn about the family, they just go for the Alpha member thinking that by landing that catch, they will be able to ride along under their protection. Make no mistake. I am the peaceful one. I am the one who just sorta cruises along. But I am also fiercely protective of my family. And more than anything, I am protective of Tom. You have hurt him. And that hurts me. I can live with the loss of you. But I will NEVER forgive you for causing pain to Tom.

T