Bondage

I don't think I've ever written about bondage. It has always seemed to me that we really don't "DO" bondage in the way that I envision that. So, it isn't a topic that has drawn me before this.

This comment made by Selkie on the post about the St. Andrew's Cross has had me contemplating the whole idea of bondage, so maybe it is time to say something about that...


People in the BDSM community seem to use the word, "bondage" as if it is a singular entity. In my experience, it really does seem that there are lots of different practices that all fall under the umbrella of "bondage." The practice is not at all monolithic. Perhaps, when we talk about "bondage," it would make sense to ask for clarification at the outset -- "what exactly do you mean when you use that word?"


In our house, bondage is used in its most prosaic form. Here, when bondage happens, it is for the sole purpose of restraining me so that He can whomp on me without either of us worrying about me staying put. There is no desire or need to do anything fancy. Tie me down or cuff me to something so that my ability to move is limited.


Very occasionally, that might go so far as to include a gag, but that is very rare.


Other people use bondage differently.


There is that branch of BDSM that gets into Shibari bondage. The word Shibari came into common use in the West at some point in the 1990s to describe the Japanese bondage art Kinbaku. Shibari is only partly about restraint. In some ways, it is more about making something that is visually beautiful than it is about actual bondage. It is an intricate, slow-motion dance that the partners create together. There can be great eroticism to Shibari, but it is a very disciplined practice that requires a very patient sort of temperament.


Some people practice the more technical and elaborate suspension bondage. Suspension is not something that can be done safely by a casual practitioner. There is way more to know than "how to tie a knot." Suspension bondage requires a depth of knowledge, technical expertise, and some pretty sophisticated equipment. I've never been involved in suspension play, but I am told that there is a particular sort of head space that can be achieved through suspension.


There is also bondage play that aims for total immobilisation and/or sensory deprivation. This kind of play can range from the use of shrink wrap, latex, and hoods all the way up to full body mummification. Cutting a bottom partner off from outside stimuli creates an entirely different set of physical experiences.


Another realm of bondage play is about creating a "predicament" for the bottom partner. Predicament bondage is designed to create dilemmas. Often this practice relies on binding the partner into positions where any slight shift or movement increases the level of discomfort or causes pain in a different place on the body. For people who are into this sort of play, the possibilities are almost endless.


Perhaps there are other ways to do this that I haven't thought about.


I do think that tastes vary widely in this sort of thing. As Selkie implied, bondage has a sort of appeal to many of us, and it can be a source of fascination and curiosity. There really is no way to know which parts of the bondage spectrum of activities might be enjoyable and exciting without taking the time to explore them. What will amaze and titillate one person will bore the next one half to death. If it intrigues you, it is worth a try.


One other thought on the whole issue of bondage. Like so many other BDSM activities, the issue of safety ought to be considered. There is plenty of information available on techniques and precautions. Wise players inform themselves about risks and make decisions accordingly.


swan