Mean, Rotten, Eye Doctor

I have the strangest eyes. I am, in the world of serious eye ailments, relatively young. Yet, I had surgery to remove cataracts about 5 years ago, and on Thursday, I received a diagnosis of Normal Tension Glaucoma. In fact, the eye doctor who did my cataracts has been tracking me ever since, and treating me for glaucoma even though my intraocular pressures have been well within the normal range. I've been using a beta-blocker eyedrop to help lower my pressures for a very long time, and my eye doctor sees me quarterly to check on the status of my lens implants, and monitor the pressures in my eyes.

I absolutely love the guy. He is kind and thorough and careful to explain everything he does and everything that is going on with me. I trust his skills and his judgement.

When I saw him in the spring, he expressed concern that things had changed slightly in terms of my visual field test results, and that, while my pressures remained in the normal range, they had increased over the last couple of appointments. He wanted me to consult with a "glaucoma specialist" on their staff, and so I made an appointment with the doctor he recommended.

The "glaucoma specialist" is probably good in terms of knowing his stuff, but I came out of the appointment with him feeling hurt and angry and extremely unhappy about the prospect of having to deal with him into the future. He seemed to be unnecessarily rough and ham-handed in his examination of me. Excuse me Mr. Doctor Guy, but if you need to put a lens on the surface of my eyeball, would it be too much to ask that you do that gently, and without that interesting grinding motion? My masochism does not extend to eye play. Oh, and another thing -- could you maybe talk to me; explain what you are doing and thinking; tell me what it all means and what I should expect? If I express concerns or ask questions about the treatment you are prescribing, it is because I want to know what is happening to MY eye.

I just do not care about how good looking you are. I am not impressed by your athletic physique or your perfect smile. I want to know that you are a talented and capable physician, but if you are not able to see past the "eyeball," I am just not going to feel good about dealing with you.

Then, as I looked into the new eyedrops that were prescribed by the mean, rotten, eye doctor, the list of side effects was pretty scary. The longer I thought about it, and the further I looked, the worse I felt. The fact that the doctor had just waved off my questions and concerns while I was in his office, began to loom large in my mind, and I got increasingly frustrated and panicked. Finally, in tears, I told Master how upset I was over the whole business -- how frightened I was about taking this new medication, and how unhappy I was at the prospect of dealing with this guy for the rest of my life. Eventually, at His encouragement, I called and talked to my original (good) eye doc, and discussed it all with him. He was very patient and reassured me that the medication that had been prescribed was well tolerated and has a good track record in terms of dealing with my kind of glaucoma. He and I talked about perhaps seeing a different glaucoma doctor if the next appointment doesn't go any better and he was very supportive of that possibility. I felt calmer by the time I hung up from him, and feel as if I can deal with this one way or another.

For now, I'll use the eyedrops and work to do my part to treat this illness. I'll deal with the mean, rotten eye doctor when I see him next, and then we'll see where this goes from there.

swan