Up Close

Probably, my new fascination with OTK spanking is going to drive some people just batty. I understand, but I just can't help it...

I never thought much about the whole sub-set of spanking behavior that is associated with the over the knee position. It just hasn't been part of my experience, and if we don't do it, then I don't pay much attention to it. Then, I got started thinking about it with the arrival of our new sofa, and that fantasizing has opened up a whole new realm of experimentation for us.

This afternoon, I was busy working on some material I am preparing for the upcoming school year. He'd been working on some things for meetings that He has coming up over the next few days. I was pretty intensely wrapped up in my stuff, and I didn't notice what He was doing -- until He came and took my hand; pulling me to the sofa. He'd gathered up a handful of toys, and He was intent on having me over His knee.

I slipped out of my shorts; out of my panties, and got myself laid across His lap. My butt was still tender from the session we had yesterday, but He started off pretty gently with His hand, and I was feeling "into" it. I was a little amazed that He'd started this in the middle of the afternoon, but it seemed like it was fun and close and good.

One of the things that probably seems obvious, but is a revelation for me, is that over the knee spanking requires a different set of implements than other kinds of spanking that we engage in. He used a very short rubber chainmail paddle that I've always called the cheese grater. He used an almost flat, and fairly heavy wooden spoon that we bought years ago at a festival. He used a leather strap. Of course, He used the Anniversary paddle... There was lots of stroking and carressing and rubbing -- all good.

My experience is that, usually in a session, as things get more and more intense, I get more and more engaged in my own space and my own personal battle with the conflicting emotions. If I feel frightened, or angry, or sad; those feelings are in opposition to my desire to submit, to stay, to please Him with my obedience. Always, that internal wrestling feels lonely. I always believe that I am "on my own" to make that work; make it happen. I win or lose the war by myself -- it isn't a place where I usually feel Him close to me.

But today was different. As the session today grew more and more intense, I found myself melting into Him. I was overwhelmed by my awareness of the contact between the two of us -- my belly pressed against His legs, and my hip wedged into His waist. Somehow, it never ever occured to me that being over His knee would be so physically intense, so immediate, so utterly intimate. Up close; melted into Him; feeling the blows He was raining down on my butt, intertwined with His caresses -- it became an entirely different sort of experience, and one that I never expected. I am just amazed!

swan