New Status

On the last Sunday of each month, we join Master's father for a wonderful gourmet brunch served at the independent living center where he now resides. For $15.00 ($7.00 for Grandpa) each, there is more wonderful food than we can possibly eat: prime rib, stuffed flounder, grits, chicken cordon bleu, fresh fruit, corn pudding, shrimp cocktail, steamed crab legs, hash brown potatoes, wonderful green beans and sweet potatoes, a host of muffins, pancakes, and rolls, made to order omelettes, roast turkey, and a wealth of desserts --all washed down with champagne.

It is, for us, a time to sit and spend some relaxed and gently paced time with the ninety-year-old man who is parent to the wonderful Man that T and I love so dearly. For Grandpa, it is an opportunity to show off a bit -- "this is my family." Really, it is a lovely bit of time in our month.

With all of that said, I still find that I fuss about getting to this particular "thing." It is another one of those places that has come to feel awkward and oppressive to me as I assume that nebulous role in the context of the family. We would never, ever confront Grandpa with our particular living situation. He wouldn't understand, and knowing would distress him terribly.

So, at these things, as people encounter us, and enquire as to "who these people are with you, Grandpa?," I have learned to simply exit the conversation mentally. Whatever explanation that is given for my presence, I find it is simpler to allow my hearing issues to take me away from the situation and let those around me work out the details of "who I am."

It was that escape mechanism that caused me to miss the moment yesterday.

It happened that some of the other residents of the facility stopped by our table to chat, and asked the inevitable question about Dad's dining partners. He never missed a beat. He simply said, "This is my son, and my daughter-in-law, and my other daughter-in-law." Just like that, without question or fuss or upset, I have been taken in and made a part.

It is a thing that makes my heart glad, and moves me to tears. I haven't really paid too much attention to it just yet -- except to be amazed. It is so amazing that this very upright, very proper man, who has seemed so rigid, has come to give me this space. Somehow, that matters to me -- very much.

swan