To Hear or Not to Hear....that is the Question?

So in follow up to the preceding post we went off down the yellow brick road to see the Wizard......the Dr. ENT. We were taken into to an exam room with a sound booth and audio metric "stuff." We were treated very supportively and with deference to how wonderful it is that she seems to have sudden hearing improvement. They explained how different the new audio metric tools were (ear buds not ear phones, etc.) and proceeded to test her. There was first pressure to test the volume and response of the ear drum.............all normal....both ears.

Then there were hearing tests. In the early going the woman testing us said that there was evidence of some slight hearing response in her "deaf' ear. I was excited. Eventually the woman testing her brought in another more highly trained and credentialed person and they did a number of tests which control for conductivity (bleed over of hearing from the good ear or from vibrations effecting the skull which are sensed rather than via the auditory nerve.) The test was difficult and at times swan was in tears at feeling she heard "beeps" in her "deaf" ear. They told me they did tests that went beyond the usual regimen in light of her situation.


So we were ushered into the all knowing and all powerful ENT Dr. wizard guy. Everyone told us he is a huge expert in complicated hearing loss cases. It was obvious in responding to his early questions about swan's case that he had no knowledge of her history, but had reviewed the audio metric results. He explained that their testing indicated that she had 100% normal hearing in her "good" ear, and no hearing at all in her "deaf" ear. As for her suddenly being able to discern the direction from which sounds emanated, the degrees of sound,etc. he lectured us about the amazing ability of the brain to sometimes accommodate for the loss of discernment experienced by "unilateral hearers" to "learn" to interpret the sound heard by the good ear similarly to normal hearing. He told us that he expected her brain had learned some "new tricks" and that was a good thing. He had made it clear early on that he wanted to speak to her and not me (my lack of standing as a "real spouse"?.....who knows). He explained to her that her hearing loss is the result of a bacterial infection, a viral infection, or an auto-immune problem. He told her hers was clearly the result of a bacterial problem. Despite his disinterest in hearing from me, I asked if the fact that she had had simultaneous sudden hearing loss in both ears 16 years ago, with the hearing returning in one ear and not the other was pertinent? Suddenly he looked perplexed and said that if that was the case then it must be the result of a viral infection and not a bacterial infection. He also said that even in that case no one had ever had their hearing restored longer than three months after the hearing loss. To say that swan was/is disappointed and frustrated would be huge understatement.

We are left with unanswered questions.......some of which we asked Dr. Wizard with no real response. Why did they when they were first testing her get responses to beeps in her "deaf" ear when later they said the test indicated no hearing response? Why suddenly if a cell phone rings in our condo is she able to locate where the sound is originating when she could never do that before? Why can she suddenly tell the directionality of sound in her school? Is all this a "trick", some sort of magic neurological accommodation that suddenly came to pass Wednesday night, despite her continued deafness? How could he have failed to notice the "detail" that she originally lost hearing in both ears, with hearing eventually returning to one ear?

I don't doubt that Dr. Wizard is experienced and knowledgeable. He too appeared less than open to us (especially me).........and yes, I do know this is about her and not me.............but sometimes I do have a thought or two......that might add to the conversation. I was a witness to her event Wednesday night, whatever it was/is. He knows so firmly that no one's hearing ever returns, that I am left not feeling confident that if there had been evidence of her actually hearing, he would not notice it. It is a paradigm that is not to be threatened.........this irreversability of sudden hearing loss....or that is how I/we were left feeling. If there is a third option in the etiology of this, in auto-immune disease, why is that not explored? There is history of auto-immune disease in her family.

The fact is sue is perceiving things she has not for 16 years. Perhaps because of some sort of neurological accommodation.......and that is neat.

The unfortunate part of this, is she feels embarrassed...........like she has somehow deluded herself into some thing that is not real, and the style of interaction with Dr. Wizard didn't help that. I am telling her that perception is perception and the medical explanation is irrelevant. I am telling her how proud I am of her and of course how much I love her. T is right there as well. At least we have ruled out any medical problems....like a tumor or something.......as a cause for this change.

This test, which took over an hour, and the whole experience was difficult for swan........and certainly the disappointment too is hard.

Thank you to all of you who have responded so warmly to us as this has evolved.

All the best,

Tom

Go confidently in the direction of your dreams. Live the life you've imagined.