Good Gravy!

Guess I WAS out of it yesterday, to miss this last post. Geeze-Louise! I had a nasty migraine and was not able to get online, let alone see this coming.

Swan.....NO LEAVING! No selling!! No packing!!! No moving!!!! I NEED You. I love you. And I would be lost without you. You can go to Denver to squeeze the baby, hug your kids, view your mountains, but your place is here with us.

I am thinking it is time for the "S.A.D." light to be brought out. Every winter you get depressed and the light seems to relieve some of this. So break it out, Sista!

For those who asked about how I was about the entire beginning of Tom & swan....well, I was pretty damned sick. They connected while I was in intensive care, so I hadn't a clue about what was going on. Hell, I was so medicated, I didn't know anything for almost 10 days! And when I finally came home, I slept alot....Tom did most of my home care....and I was still pretty oblivious to everything, let alone the relationship that was developing. And I think the relationship wacked them, too. They were not heading for what happened....it just did. Nobody snaked their way into our lives with the intent of destruction. There was no "Plot", there was no "Plan", there was no nothing!

When I finally surfaced, I thought Tom had found a friend. I liked her. I thought her husband was "unique". I thought we could all be long-distance friends. Things changed, and if I am to be honest, I could see what was happening, but had no CLUE about the final outcome. I was figuring that I was heading for a release and a separation (remember we were not married yet) and Tom was going to be alone. I figured it was going to be a "fling"....sort of a long-distance "stunt-butt" relationship.

Then we all met. I LOVED HER. Shy, adorable, NORMAL, not emotionally needy, and a very strong woman. What was not to love? Delima, for sure. But we were still doing the long-distance friend thing at that time. I felt connected to her. Like Siamese sisters, long separated. We clicked immediately. How sucky was that?

And then they dropped the "we love each other" thingie in my lap on the night of my wedding reception.....THUD! Well, that certainly opened my eyes. No hiding from reality anymore. And my life started spiraling. I had been single all my life. I found the man of my dreams. I committed. And it was going to fall apart.

Not so. It took me awhile. I did the whole loss, anger, crying, frustration, acceptance thingie. And when they got here for good, I still was resistant. I dragged my heels like a petulant child. But they just held my hand and gently tugged anyway.

And here we are. Certainly there have been moments that we have butted heads. Mostly over the kitchens but we get over it pretty quickly. She has SPOILED HIM ROTTEN. So when she leaves, I have to work TRIPLE-HARD to keep up his expectations. A Dom/Master is alot of work, for those of you who don't have one.....think long and hard about it before you do!

Swan, you can go to Denver, but you have to come home to us. We are family and NEED each other. You are my better half, not Tom (G)! You make me a better, stronger, and healthier person. So squeeze the baby, hug your kids, view your mountains, but come HOME TO US!

Your place is here. On the other side of Tom.....holding my hand behind his back!

T