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We are three adults living in a polyamorous triad family. The content here is intended for an adult audience. If you are not an adult, please leave now.



I have been formulating for a few days what I want to say publicly to Tom.....and Sue beat me! But that is just fine. She is much more articulate than I could ever begin to imagine.

My Bestest Man,

I have waited for you all of my life. Just when I came to the realization that there was never going to be a "love" in my life, when I finally decided to become Mom's roomie, when I finally decided to be an "crazy old maid with cats", you popped into my life.

Our friend, Whims, told me this very interesting man was moving to Cincinnati from Toledo, was going thru' a divorce and job change and could probably use a friend. I was in Dayton and said I would email him....never did. Whims and I talked several times after the initial conversation and she asked if I had contacted Tom...."Nope", was my answer. She said stop talking to her and just send a damned email to him! Well, she is a pretty forceful Domme, so I gave in..... "Hi!, I am a friend of Whims who said you were moving to my part of the state. If you would like to get together for dinner, or a movie or whatever, just email me back and we can get together." Nothing fancy, I didn't type the email in the buff or flog myself while typing. And his response was almost immediate. We met in Middletown (half way between Cincy and Dayton) for dinner at Olive Garden. Hadn't a clue what to expect, but I never expected such an articulate, handsome, caring man. We met at 6pm and closed the restaurant. We talked about everything under the sun and found that we have almost always lived close to each other most of our lives. We did the dinner thing a few times. I went to his new apartment for dinner a few times. I was scheduled for a hernia repair and he had a big meeting he needed to be at. Mom took me to the outpatient surgical center and this handsome man approached her, introduced himself as Tom and my Mom fell in love with him, too. He felt I was more important than his meeting, so he dropped everything and came to me. Once I was able to travel, he came and got me and took care of me at his place for a week.

Finally I moved to Cincy. Transferred my job, hauled belongings and cat to Tom. Those were the days the cats got along. And things were fantastic.

Tom and I have never had an argument. We discuss things. He has taught me so much about so many things. He is patient, he is kind, he is generous, he is the kind of man who everyone should hope their sons grow up to be.

He saved my live in 2000. I had diverticulitis that ruptured with the peritoneal crap being MRSA. MRSA is more known these days, but back then we hadn't a clue that I had a 10% chance of living. I was in intensive care for 8 days and a private room for almost 2 weeks. I went home with an open wound that required 2 sterile dressing changes daily and had IV Vancomiocin twice a day. The hospital taught Tom how to care for me, and he did everything. He helped with the temporary colostomy, he fed me, he laid with me when I was so depressed I could not get out of bed. And he just kept on loving me.

While I was so sick, Tom met Sue and "He-who-shall-remain-nameless" and began chatting. New friends are always welcome and Sue was an amazing, long distance support for Tom. For that I will always be eternally thankful. They grew closer as I healed. We all finally met, and just hugging Sue was as if I found the better half of myself. Bright, articulate, shy, supportive, what wasn't there to love? Once Sue and Tom fell in love, they were as patient as possible with me. I already loved Sue, but was not sure if I was strong enough to share. Now I know that having Sue gives me to ability to love MORE, not less.

We have had some rough patches, but none rougher than these past few weeks. We have pushed, yelled, cried, hugged, loved, and been as supportive as possible for each other. We all want this relationship to continue. We all know it will be different than before, but my deepest hope is that we will be like a Phoenix, rising stronger from the ashes of a terrible past.

Tom, I have loved you forever. Even when I didn't know you, I have loved you. I am so sorry for all of my part of this mess. If I could do anything differently, I would change the world for you. I want us all safe, happy, well. I want us to love each other and remember that we are in this together.

And those of you out in the blogisphere, the support you have shown for ALL THREE OF US, has been received, noted, and accepted with great pleasure. And those of you who feel that sides should be drawn and that blame should be laid, I hope you never have to experience something so devastating because you will not have the fortitude to work for the most valuable thing in the We are all 3 in this together. We all know, in hindsight, that other options should have been made.

I love you, my handsome man. I am here forever. I will be your shoulder when you need it. I will leave you alone when you just need to be alone. But I am one of your strongest supporters. Sue being the other. It is hard to see the future on the other side of this mess. But I hope with my entire being that that future will continue to hold the 3 of us, together, stronger than ever before.

Mores & Mores,



  1. And you say you're not that articulate?!

    This is beautiful.
    A tribute to your love.
    A tribute to what you have had.
    A strong case for what you will have.

    It also, in the way it differs from and complements Sue's statement, is a lovely example of the extra richness that comes from a relationship involving more than just 2 people.


  2. ....more tears....And I'm with oatmeal girl.."you say you're not that articulate?"


  3. Sweet heart your articulateness takes a back seat to no one. It never has and never will. Your sincerity and heart felt recounting of our story provides me a huge reminder of what we had before the events of the last 6 weeks blew everything to hell.

    I don't know what remains, or if I will be available to live through what life remains afer all this, but I would never sacrifice even one moment of our time together until October 28. I haven't wanted to live a moment since.

    It is very difficult for me to understand how knowing that a 9-1-1 call October 28 led to a very harmful police reponse, then three and a half days ,later you placed another one, resuling, of course in police repsonse many time more inappropriate and devastatingly harmful.

    I love you beyond words, but my trust is beyond shaken, and life as it is has become now, and is likely to be moreso in the future, is not life I have any desire to participate in living.

    Mores & mores,



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