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We are three adults living in a polyamorous triad family. The content here is intended for an adult audience. If you are not an adult, please leave now.


From Scripture

 I am not particularly religious, and I long ago gave up the need to conform my understanding of reality to the commonly held beliefs of the Christian majority.  Still, it is nearly impossible to live in our society and not absorb the odd bit of Christian scripture, and this one is such a ubiquitous part of wedding celebrations:


“Love is patient; love is kind
and envies no one.
Love is never boastful, nor conceited, nor rude;
never selfish, not quick to take offense.
There is nothing love cannot face;
there is no limit to its faith,
its hope, and endurance."

That is the only answer that I can give when I am asked why I remain in the tumult of my relationship.  I am not in a hurry to give it up.  I am hopeful that there may be a healing and a new start and something good and strong and healthy after all this ugliness and pain.  We've been through so much together, and I absolutely believe that there is nothing that we cannot face and endure if we can love one another enough.




  1. Sur, I'm glad you are writing somewhere. I just found this through the link you put on the Herons blog. Thank you for that.

    It seems to me that both of you, probably all three of you feel sad, betrayed, angry, lost to some degrees.

    I hope that things work out for all of you, whatever that means. I think there's so much passion between you all that it should be in some relationship with each other. But maybe that can't be.

    I hope whatever is best for all of you comes to pass.

  2. I have always thought that was a lovely scripture, one of my favorites. I believe there is truth and beauty in the scriptures, regardless of what your beliefs are. Your love has always been very apparent and 9 years is a long time. You owe no one an answer but yourself. Things have certainly crashed and burned, you need to let the flames die down before you know what may rise out of the ashes.

  3. I hope you find peace. I hope that for you and all those you love.


  4. It is good to listen. It seems to me that's what you need most just now from friends.

    I'm certain that wholeness and healing happen because we see what IS...we just be with it and we find the infinity of our hearts to love without condition.

    That always means that we love ourselves without condition and that we take good care of ourselves as well as loving Another who is in the moment with us.

    There is such great peace in that.

    It sounds like you are finding that out.

    Blessings Sue.

  5. Just wanted to say that while I've been quiet around 'cyberia' for some months now, I'm still reading, and still care very much what happens to you all.

    much love and hugs xxx

  6. Palomino10:39 AM

    I started reading your blog for your intelligence, not my interest in your personal life. Living as you have is not something I desire, so it was of mild passing interest when you posted about it. It was the depth of understanding and positions you took on things going on in your life or on other blogs and even in the world that I cared about. I love that you are a math teacher. Our schools are in a mathematical deficit. We need as many good ones as we can get.

    I'm sorry for your anguish, hurt, and pain in the situation. So much for not talking about it. Guess we all know more than we had the right to now. Regardless, I've always known you were in there - Sue that is. She's happy and lighter, I'll be anxious to hear your thoughts now, in retrospect. But can I say T has shocked me! Please tell her she delights me. It's like..."well we have this mess, but I'm doing the happy dance!" She's found her voice, too. I hope you will invite her to post here, or she'll open her own blog. She's right to be proud of what she's accomplished with her surgery. That's fantastic, but she's funny and suddenly a real person with thoughts, too!

    My best to both of you. As long as you have words to share, I'll be a supportive listener!

  7. I too have been catching up with your words here. I think it was wise to create a space that is just yours to sort out your thoughts and feelings.

    I know it has been dark, but I see you have found a candle and matches. And today it sounds as though hope is here too.

    hugs...and tea...and more hugs

  8. I am amazed at your calmness and your wisdom during this difficult time. I am also impressed with the kindness and the wisdom of the women who have commented here. I hope you wil wrap this "cyber blanket" around you and find some comfort.


  9. Impish17:56 PM

    I don't really know what to say, but I want you to know that I am here beside you, caring, and hoping it can all come together in healing and for the better. Thinking of you so often.


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