I have just been floating around on a haze of Percocet and trying to keep my family intact. I read a comment from Palamino, who said ...."But I can say that T has shocked me! Please tell her that she delights me. It's like ..."well we have this mess and I'm doing a happy dance!...."
I am hardly doing any dancing and happy is not in my world these days. I am recovering from a total knee replacement (11/19/10). I have a Mother who was just accepted into Hospice. I have a nephew who is acting out and is close to be thrown out of his father's home and the last resort is him going to my Mom's. I have a husband in crisis and I don't know how to help him find his way home to us. Sue has a screaming migraine today that has laid her low, none of the traditional or non-traditional remedies are helping. I want to get ready for Christmas, a holiday that has always been Tom's favorite, but I cannot think of doing anything more than dragging all the decorations to the driveway and setting them on fire.
I have found who are and who are not our friends online these past few weeks. To those of you who have expressed kindness and consideration, I thank you from the bottom of my heart. Your kindness has meant the world to us. And to those of you who have nothing to say but ugly hatefulness, I hope you NEVER have a crisis, because you will never have the strength to hold on when the winds are trying to beat you down.
No, I am not dancing.....I am clinging to my family with my fingertips. One never knows just how much they love someone until there is a chance they will no longer be with you. I am clinging, I am loving, I am hurting....but I am not dancing.