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We are three adults living in a polyamorous triad family. The content here is intended for an adult audience. If you are not an adult, please leave now.



Some quick updates for those friends who are trying to follow along, keep up with us, and (as my friend Caitlin would have said) stand in the gap for us...

We made it through the Christmas holiday.  It was surely bittersweet.  I doubt we reached anything approaching real "joyfulness," but we did have some gifts to share with one another.  We did have a lovely afternoon with His youngest son.  We did get to make the trip north and spend a nice evening with T's mom and niece and nephew -- a precious Christmas with Eleanor that none of us would have anticipated a year ago.

T has passed the 5 week mark post surgery and continues to amaze everyone with her progress.   Tomorrow will be her last visit to physical therapy.  She has her release to return to work after the first of the year.  She still hurts sometimes, but it is pretty well controlled with medications and she mostly feels good.  She still tires easily, but it recovering her strength day by day.

I got the most wonderful Christmas gift ever...  an original, framed, first one ever, finger-painting by my grandson.  The "original" painting now hangs prominently in  my kitchen where it brings a smile to my face each morning. 

Himself continues to meet with his therapist.  He seems to like and respect her, and those meetings do seem to help Him feel some better so that is good.

I have purchased two books by Dr. Sue Johnson about a "couple's therapy" process called Emotionally Focused Therapy.  We are beginning to read through these together, hoping (at least I am hoping) to find some tools and techniques that might help us reconnect and find our way back to some kind of love and happiness again.

The next court date is Thursday.  It is listed as "pre-trial" and the attorney says it will be his first opportunity to "have a conversation" with the prosecutor.  None of us really know what to expect.  T and I are hopeful that there may be some positive things that come out of this encounter with what passes for the "justice" system.  He is, on the other hand, convinced, that nothing good will happen.  We will simply have to wait and find out I guess.

One of my students lost his dad on the Monday before Christmas.  It was sudden and totally unexpected, and I cannot imagine the devastation for this little guy -- 12 years old is too young for such an enormous loss.  I attended the funeral last evening, along with my teaching partner and 16 of our students.  I was awfully proud of them for being there for their friend -- even in the middle of their Christmas break.

I'm hot on the trail of whatever it is that is causing my intensified and more frequent migraine headaches.  Perhaps in the new year, I'll find some answer to that question.  For now, I do have a CT scan that appears normal, so that is good news.

I've made changes here that allow us to keep the evil, nasty anonymous commenters away.  That feels positive.  This place is in the nature of a "diary" and those who insist that it is a forum for them to be hateful are simply not welcome.  So they have been taken care of.  I also cleaned up the blog roll which was in real need of pruning and updating.

So.  That is the news from here.  I wish a very happy new year to all our friends.  Thank you for being with us this far.



  1. I'm glad to hear that your holiday was peaceful, if bittersweet.
    Surely the court date on Thursday is another milestone for you all. I hope it goes well ,, or as well as a court date can go.

    Congratulations on your amazing recovery from your surgery!
    And.. of course, all the best in the New Year!

  2. Wow!!! What a lot of news !! I hardly know where to start....

    I loved seeing the apple of your eye.. and what a precious Christmas gift - finger paintings are the very best kind of paintings !!

    I am so glad you all got to spend a part of Christmas with T's mom .... it must have been a very precious time..

    I am happy T is progressing so well after her surgery .... good for her !!!

    In all my years as a teacher I have only once had to go through a funeral with one of my students.. it was the toughest thing I have ever done.. You must have been so drained after the funeral....

    As for your migraines.. I am thinking you probably have thought of this.. but chocolate and caffeine can be a cause ...... as well as stress...

    and finally .... I will keep my fingers crossed that something positive comes out of the pre-trial/meeting with the prosecutor and that Raheretic will find some answers/relief



  3. I'll send positive thoughts your way for Thursday. I am glad you all are able to take a breath. The little guy is adorable!

  4. Love to all of you. I continue to keep you in my thoughts and prayers and will double those up on Thursday. What a wonderful gift for you, little ones (both near and far) can put a smile on our face.

  5. S - ask your neurologist about menstrual migraines. I cannot recall if you had a complete hysterectomy or if you might still be subject to hormonal shifts. But after 30 years of horrendous migraines, mine are now under control thanks to a targeted prescription (Frova - Frovatriptan is in a class of medications called selective serotonin receptor agonists). We went through several different types of meds before we found one that works, and it has made an amazing difference.

  6. Good luck to Tom tomorrow. I have been thinking of you often.

    So much other news. What sad times you seem to be living through.

    Big hugs for all of you.

    And Sue, it seems to me your migraines must be exacerbated if not caused by stress?

  7. Impish19:39 AM

    What a doll! Thanks for the picture.
    Sounds like you all made it through, and managed to find the little joys where you could...not easy at all, but very proud and happy for each of you. I will be behind you all for the pretrial...tell Tom he should be able to feel me there.
    Migraines, ugh! Mine were under control until perimenopause and menopause made it a whole new game. If stress and/or hormones are not the culprits then my bet would be sleep...I'm guessing between worry and such you are losing a bit.

  8. Anonymous2:50 PM

    Just want to say i will be sending as many good thoughts as possible your way tomorrow...hope it goes smoothly. hugs abby

  9. Keeping you all in my thoughts and prayers. Here's hoping that Thursday is a GOOD day.

  10. Anonymous11:11 PM

    I really miss Caitlin. Hugs and Prayers to all 3 of ya'll.


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