I love you. I have waited for you for all of my life. And when I found you, I was stunned that we had been near each other off and on all of our lives and probably even crossed paths a time or two.
I know these past few months have been hell for you. They have not been a walk in the park for any of us. We are all sad, angry, depressed, frustrated. We feel let down by those paid to be our advocate. We feel lied to and deceived.
You are allowed your feelings. You are allowed to be depressed and pissed as hell.
But you need to remember that I love you. That, throughout this entire mess, I have tried my damnedest to be there when you need me. I know my EAP recomendations are batting .500, good therapist, not so good lawyer. But at least we had that to help us navigate this mess.
Please stop pushing me away when you need me most. I am fighting like hell for us. I need to know that you are fighting too. Because, I cannot do it alone. I need you. Just as we both need our Sue.
I love you with all my heart.
Mores and Mores,
t
I am so sick of this. I have post traumatic stress syndrome and huge clinical depression. If you don't like, or can't handle how that makes me, then leave. I am not doing things to "push you away" or to "push sue away." I am having a very tough time staying alive at all.
ReplyDeleteThis crap is like saying, "I understand you have pneumonia, and that is fine, but you just have to stop coughing." You could try, "it is perfectly OK you are blind, but will you please remember to start seeing what is on television and when will you start driving the car again." Those statements are just as ridiculous as what you have written in this post.
I am sorry, but I didn't call 9-1-1 and have me hauled off by the police when I called you for help. You make it sound like this is just some idle victimization, that happened out of the blue, perpetrated by malevolent predators that simply zoned in on me without anyone calling me to their attention.
You precipitated this. I am dying. I am now not going to be beaten up by you for feeling as I do, especially when I have no control over what I am feeling.
Tom