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We are three adults living in a polyamorous triad family. The content here is intended for an adult audience. If you are not an adult, please leave now.



If we had a keen vision of all that is ordinary in human life, it would be like hearing the grass grow or the squirrel's heart beat, and we should die of that roar which is the other side of silence.
George Eliot 

There is mostly silence between he and I now.  If we walk or eat or engage in sex, there seems to be almost nothing to say.  

I'll not do battle with his raging, and he won't be done with it, and so there are no words.

I am finding the silences to be interesting.  Suddenly, again, I've found the place inside of myself where I can think and ponder and simply be.  I can do for him if that makes sense, but the center of my world has opened up making room for other possibilities.  The great irony is that, even as he finds his life terribly diminished, mine seems to be more open and more full than in all these intervening years.  If I belong only to me, then the world seems full of squirrel heart beats and the slow creak of growing grass.



  1. weirdgirl7:26 PM

    "the world seems full of squirrel heart beats and the slow creak of growing grass" This struck me as so very beautiful, Sue. A beautiful way to describe a consciousness of nature and progression and detail.
    I am so glad you have created this space for yourself. I am also relieved (but not surprised!) to hear that you will not enter into the battle at the moment. It must be so hard for you to be in this situation and to witness Tom in such great pain, but I greatly admire your courage.

    Wishing you fortitude for the road ahead, and peace for the future.

    Kindest regards and much respect

  2. I have just been catching up on your writing here. I am so glad you are writing again. You have proven to be courageous many times...may that courage help you forge the road ahead.
    hugs abby


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